Don't Ask, Don't Tell, DON'T LOOK!

While America has been biting its nails, waiting to see if the gays will win the repeal of "Don't Ask/Don't Tell", we have been blissfully blind to the fact that gays have already made inroads in our nation's capitol.  All you have to do is look at the monuments to our brave military to see what I mean.

Take this monument to the Seabees.  The liberals will give you the bogus interpretation that the shirtless, muscular soldier interacting with the child represents strength and compassion being used in the quest for peace.  However, mental health professionals worth their salt will tell you that this is an endorsement of homosexual pedophilia!

Can we in good conscience allow this to go on?

Worried About Terror Babies? You Ain't Seen Nuthin' Yet!

Many of us have heard of the "terror baby" tactic -- send Muslim women here to give birth so the future terrorists can simply use their automatic U.S. citizenship to waltz right in and blow something up.

Well, several friends I have in government positions (I won't give their names or their agencies, for security purposes) have told me that there are other, more insidious plans being developed.  (The funding and facilities are from Saudis sympathetic to the jihadist cause.)

Baby or bomb?

One plan involved surgically implanting undetectable, high-yield explosives into infants and then sending them with their innocent-seeming parents to this country on a tourism visa.  Then, when the family arrives at the target, BOOM!

The other plan is incredibly more ambitious and so much more terrifying.  This involves genetically engineering people to have several organs also act as explosives.  This would be the ultimate in "sleeper cell" technology!  There would be no tell-tale surgical scars, but the bombs themselves would have no idea they were involved in terrorism until they detonated!

And to think members of the liberal media have been trying to make Al-Qaeda look like a bunch of bumbling idiots!

Ding Dong the Well Is Dead. . . Now Move On!

The BP oil well that caused so much grief over the summer is dead and is showing no signs of coming back to life.  Gone are the images of the broken well spewing thousands of gallons of crude, the Gulf Coast coated in thic goo, baby animals made unrecognizable by smelly gunk, and countless fishing boats stuck at dock.

So why are there still commercials from BP pledging they'll make things right?  Is the Obama administration so determined to strip every bit of meat off BP's bones for the sake of getting its pound of flesh?  It's high time the president and his liberal mafia quit trying to take the world hostage by destroying one of the largest corporations.  Destroying BP will only devastate the world economy.

The oil spill crisis is over.  Time to move on.

Is the California Court System a Sick Joke?

YES!  The sagas of Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton are just the latest two examples of how warped the Californian sense of "justice" is.  Two crack whores are continually allowed to endanger the general public without serving any real time in prison, nor are the forced to do any meaningful rehab to clean themselves up.  (And I'm not just saying "endangering the general public" -- they both have been pulled over for driving while drunk or stoned.)  Seriously, what's the hardest punishment Paris Hilton ever endured -- not being allowed to bathe in her favorite vintage of Dom?

And, what makes it even more maddening, is the fact that the criminals know it's all a joke.  Just look at their mug shots.  The taxpayers are paying for the headshots Lindsey will use at her next auditions, and Paris is laughing at us mere mortals.

If only Godly group would charge in and snatch the California court system away from the brain-dead liberals and return it to the sane people of America!

Thank God for the Texas State Board of Education!

The Texas State Board of Education passed a resolution warning textbook publishers to cut out the pro-Islam, anti-Christian bias in their publications.  It's about time!  How many years have textbooks falsely portrayed Muslims as a peace-loving, forward-thinking group?  All you have to do is watch five minutes of a news broadcast to see nothing but terrorists in dirt shacks picking fleas off themselves!

There's only one complaint I have about this resolution: it's nonbinding. 

Insurance Companies: Instead of Dropping Kids, Drop Unnecessary & Expensive Fertility Treatments!

In order to avoid the Obamacare's ban on denying coverage to kids with pre-existing conditions, several major insurance companies have decided to not cover children whatsoever.  Now, I'm not one to support this hackneyed health care plot shoved down our throats by the Obama administration, but my conscience compels me to object to the insurance industry punishing children for the sins of adults and then say it's the only way to keep from going bankrupt. This is especially true when these same companies continue to fund the insanely expensive and immoral fertility treatments.

While it may seem to be cost prohibitive to pay for a child's asthma treatments, it pays off in the long run because that kid will later get a job and be a productive member of society.  Fertility treatments, on the other hand, are a continual drain, even if they did work within the first five attempts (something that rarely happens.)  And then, if the treatment works, there are the problems that come with high-risk pregnancies (standard for multiple-births.)  If there are more than triplets, then you are certain to have at least one handicapped child on the disability roll.

(I know, God said "be fruitful and multiply."  But He also decides that some shouldn't multiply.  These folks then use science to circumvent God's will.)

Want even more reasons?  How about the fact that the parents who want these treatments are usually unfit parents?  Listen to any interviews of women wanting these treatments; when the doctor tells them of the high risk of having handicapped kids, they blow it off!  So what if I'm damning my kids to a lifetime of pain and agony?  I wanna play mommy!  Take a look at Bobbi McCaughey.  After she gave birth to septuplets in 1997, she went around in her own little dream-world while her husband and other relatives did the actual work of the day-to-day care.  And, to top it off, she refused to get needed attention for one child with a spinal deformity for several years.  (When a reporter noticed the boy was dragging his useless legs behind him instead of crawling normally, Bobbi laughed it off, saying, "Oh, he's just being stubborn.")  The more you look, the more you'll find that the Octomom's brand of neglect is frightfully common.

If the insurance industry truly wants to save money, it shouldn't stop offering policies for children.  It would save many, many tens of thousands of dollars by not covering fertility treatments.  And it would reduce the number of neglected children brought into the world by selfishly unfit mothers.

God Didn't Part the Red Sea for Moses!

Once again a scientific report came out to thrash the silly notion that God works miracles.  They say it was a puff of wind that caused the Red Sea to part just as Moses and the fleeing nation of Israel got there.  Talk about dumb luck!

Of course, this makes more sense than their previous explanation: a tsunami caused by a volcano did it.  Or the dumb-hick Hebrews confused a SEA with a mud puddle.  At any rate, we all know that God had nothing whatsoever to do with it.

Let me jump ahead to the next non-God explanation: if you were the Red Sea, would you go against the will of Charlton Heston?

Death By Frankenfish?

How long is the list of things that could go wrong if our food is genetically engineered?  And that's not counting what would happen if terrorists or a government agency with bad intentions got involved!

It looks like we'll soon find out in a couple of days when the FDA allows our food supply to be contaminated by genetically modified salmon.  After this, it will simply be a matter of time before everything we eat -- be it a carnivore's diet or a strict vegan one -- will be engineered.  We could have things as innocent as accidentally triggering allergic reactions to something as insidious as turning our food into a mind-numbing drug or a toxin designed to wipe out entire populations with certain inherited traits.

I pray that sane minds prevail and force the FDA to steer away from tinkering with our food in this way, though I'm not very hopeful.

Bill Maher & Jon Stewart . . . Enough Already

I can't turn on the TV, go online, or simply be awake without being slapped upside the head with the latest blackmail/publicity stunt being committed by Bill Maher, Jon Stewart, and the rest of their ilk.

People, these are a handful of washed-up, bitter jerks who refuse to accept the fact that the will of the American people looks nothing like their foaming-at-the-mouth, drunken, drug-using orgy they call an ideology.  The more we react to their pathetic attempts to crucify the Republican Party, the Tea Party, and all God-loving Christians, the louder their noise will be.  They're like a kid who had been kicked in the head by a mule and had just discovered a new cuss word; the more shocked reactions he sees, the louder he'll cuss during the preacher's sermon!

4 Out of 5 Say Glenn Beck Wrong for Starting Religious Movement, AND THEY'RE RIGHT!

A Public Religion Research Institute Poll conducted Sept. 9-12 found 1 in 5 Americans thought Glenn Beck is the right person to lead a religious movement.  I was enraged when I first read this -- who were these jerks?  Where did they take this poll -- Obama's secret mosque?   Glenn Beck has been on a personal quest to steer America back to Christian values.  How dare they suggest he's not right?

But then I learned one heartbreaking fact about Glenn Beck: he's a Mormon, not a Christian.  He's a lifelong member of a cult that promotes the perversions of Joseph Smith and Bringham Young.

And so I must agree.  Glenn Beck is the wrong one to lead any sort of American religious movement.

Letterman Was In On Joaquin Phoenix Hoax

In an old interview that resurfaced recently, one of David Letterman's writers revealed that the late night talk show host was in on the "I'm Still Here" fake documentary about Joaquin Phoenix.  Apparently Letterman liked the idea of jerking everyone around from the very beginning.

Does this really surprise anyone?

The alleged funnyman has made sick "jokes" about Sarah Palin's daughter and had a mattress in one of his offices so he could have sex with staff members young enough to be his grandchildren.  So naturally this warped creature would help generate and perpetuate Joaquin Phoenix's sick hoax.

How much more will it take to boot David Letterman and replace him with a decent parson who is actually funny?

Attempted Vandalism at Mt. Rushmore!

Nobody can say exactly when it happened, but if you look to the left of George Washington you will see it: some scumwad tried to carve the face of Satan into our beloved national monument!  I'm not sure if jihadists did it or if it was some doped-up liberal cult, but I hope they are caught and prosecuted to the fullest extent!

Unemployment Benefits -- Republicans Are Right!

In Jeffersonville, Indiana, yesterday was one of hundreds of job fairs held throughout this country.  Recruiters there noticed a shocking trend: people receiving unemployment benefits were turning down job offers because they didn't want to give up the unemployment money! (If you want to see for yourself, go to www.WLKY.com.  Go to HOMEPAGE > LOCAL NEWS > NEWS ARCHIVES.  Under the WED. Tab, click "Some Unemployed Turn Down Jobs".)

In my book, these bozos are no better than the tramps who keep squeezing out babies just to stay on Welfare!  The people who apply for jobs and then turn them down just to stay on the dole should have their benefits revoked IMMEDIATELY.  Unemployment benefits are meant to help good, hard-working people pay their bills while they look for a job TO ACTUALLY WORK, not to be used as fun funds while you spend each day playing online video games in your mommy's basement.

OMG -- IHOP Suing IHOP!

Apparently the International House of Pancakes' head goobers are afraid that legions of deluded souls will stagger into their restaurants and confuse their stacks of blueberry pancakes with communion wafers.  That's why they're suing a tiny church called the International House of Prayer for copyright infringement.

I have a couple of thoughts on that.  One: the church could countersue the restaurant chain, since millions of confused folks could stumble into the church and mistake the communion wine for maple syrup.  Or, two: the International House of Pancakes could change its name to the better-fitting Idiotic Hoarde of Patooties!

Cacao Genome Sequenced -- New Chocolate Dangers Ahead!

Mars, Inc., announced that it has successfully sequenced the Cacao tree genome, and the sequence will be released into the public domain.  That way, anybody in the world would be able to develop new disease-resistant plants or create chocolates with even more flavinoids.

However, this also leaves the world wide-open to new, insidious forms of terrorism.  Some cacao plants could be genetically engineered to be lethal to certain populations!  Blue-eyed people could be rendered extinct within a couple of years!

Wake up, people!  And keep a close eye on the chocolate milk your kids get at school!

Saudi Diplomat Seeks Political Asylum -- Sounds Too Good?

Ali Ahmed Asseri, the first secretary of the Saudi consulate in Los Angeles, has asked for political asylum because he is gay and has a Jewish best friend.  He'd be a poster child of the liberal left. . . . if he's being honest.

Remember, the head of Al-Qaeda is from Saudi Arabia, much of the funding for terrorism comes from there, and that government has allowed terrorists groups to operate within its own borders for decades.  How can we be sure Mr. Asseri isn't participating in some terrorist plot?  Think about it -- a gay Arab with a Jewish friend (an irresistable prize for the liberal Obama administration) chooses the day after the anniversary of the World Trade Center attack to come to the protective bosom of the United States of America.  Something about that reeks.

Polar Ice Cap Update

Environmentalists continue to claim that the polar bears are in peril.  Based on what I see here, the bears seem to be doing all right!

9/11 Remembered

Al-Qaeda turned two towers into daggers to stab God's heart.  Nine years ago, thousands of souls were slaughtered by a tangible evil.  We must remember the smoke billowing from the World Trade Center.  We must never forget the sight of people throwing themselves out of windows, or the vision of Manhattan burning.  This is a day to renew our vow to purge the world of the evil terrorist hoarde.

Yet there are those who would use this day for less than noble things.  Macy's (the famous New York City-based store!) had a "One Day Sale" today.  (A sale? On 9/11?!)  It's bad enough retailers have trivialized Veterans' Day and Memorial Day!

Worse still, there are elements out there determined to use the 9/11 attacks as an excuse to steal our Constitutional rights.  Right now there are some 30,000 government people listening in on our phone calls.  (I couldn't get any figures on how many government lackeys are reading our emails, tweets, blogs, texts, or Facebook pages.) 

So, for example, if you made an "incorrect" comment about President Obama's recent persecution of Mark Halperin, your credit rating might suddenly be destroyed, you might lose your home and job, or you may even wake up one day to find yourself in an "undisclosed" location.

Keep the victims of the 9/11 attacks in your prayers, and keep an eye on the liberal government lowlifes who would gladly aid the terrorists by robbing you of your rights!

"Burn a Koran Day" Burnout

Pastor Terry Jones has changed his mind more times than Favre has retired!  It has become anybody's guess whether or not the "Burn a Koran Day" event will actually happen.

I wish he'd come to a final decision soon -- my Zippo-hand is cramping up!

Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck to Rally in Anchorage on 9/11

In a followup to the Restoring Honor rally on August 28, two Patron Saints of Conservatism, Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck will have an event on September 11 in Anchorage, Alaska.  Ticket prices range from $35 to $225; those buying the high-end tickets will also get some face-time with the Conservative Crusaders.

Oh, if only I could buy all of the $225 tickets!  I can't think of a better way to remember the martyrs of the World Trade Center attacks than to bask in the glow of Sarah Palin's angelic aura!  The only way it could be more perfect is if Ann Coulter were there, too!

Radical Muslim Crackpot Calls for "Burn the Stars & Stripes" Day

 In the U.K., a radical Muslim eyesore named Anjem Choudary called for a worldwide "Burn the Stars & Stripes Day" to counter the Dove World Outreach Center's "Burn a Koran Day."

Well, good luck to you, bub.

Do you think that will hurt America?  Seriously?  If anyone does get hurt, it will be you when Old Glory's glowing embers are blown back into your face!  (Hope your beard is fireproof!)

Do Korans Make Good Kindling?

Terry Jones, pastor of the Dove Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida, is going to burn 100 Korans on 9/11.

Why 100?  If you're gonna send a message to those unholy cretins, it's gotta be BIG!  Go for a warehouse or two, for heaven's sake!

Russian Wildfires' Cause Revealed!

Environmentalists have claimed that this has been the hottest summer in recorded history and this proves we are beginning to see the consequences of climate change.

Want a concrete example?  Look at the previously unheard-of wildfires that struck Russia this summer.  The extreme heatwave, the story goes, caused a severe drought which allowed wildfires to spread.  Sounds convincing, right?  But what actually sparked the fire?

The answer's quite simple: the Russian government has resumed testing the Cold War-era Soviet weapons.  One of these is a heat-ray that was designed to trigger wildfires in America.  (Why do you think California now has a year-round "wildfire season"?)  The weapon misfired, and 26% of their crops were destroyed.

Guess who will be sending the closet commies food relief in a few months?

Let's Get a Good Reality Show

I am thankful for the amazing workforce that makes America great.  I also pray for the victims of the liberal-spawned recession that has put so much of our workforce on the sideline.

Now, while I was flipping through the channels, I couldn't help but notice how many Labor Day marathons of reality shows there are.  It's virtually impossible to find any worthwhile reality shows -- who could watch behavior that would have once earned the death penalty say they're into quality programming?

I have an idea for a reality show that really would be worthwhile.  Its star: Sarah Palin.  The activity: hunting.
And it wouldn't be your typical hunting show.

Imagine a small clearing in a woods.  In it, a small camp of liberals going about their atheistic, immoral business.  Then, off in the distance, we hear a chopper.  The liberals panic.
"Where's my bong?" one asks.
"I've got to get my crack pipe collection!" cries another.
"Honey, where's my DIY abortion kit?" another one shrieks as the group breaks out of the woods like a panicked heard.

Cut to the inside of the chopper.  We see Sarah Palin, Virtuous Vixen of conservatives everywhere, in her hunting garb.  She raises her gun, takes aim, and POW! Her prey is pelted by paintball pellets!  (What -- you thought she'd actually kill them?!  Liberals are annoying and frustrating, but they are humans, and Mrs. Palin and I ain't PETA.)  I'd like to see what kind of laughs The Daily Show would get if Jon Stewart's covered in purple and neon orange splotches!

Jihadists Hit New Zealand

I'm not sure exactly how they did it, but the recent earthquake was a terrorist attack.  Look at the name of the city closest to the epicenter: Christchurch.  Of course the hated Islamic jihadists are going to go after that place!

President Barack Obama bin Ladin Is Muslim!

DUH!

Pray for Arizona Governor Brewer

I've been looking at footage from the debate Governor Brewer participated in recently, and what I saw concerns me.  Mind you, I'm not a medical expert, but Ms. Brewer acted just like a relative of mine did when she had a couple of mini-strokes but nobody realized it until she had the major one that took her life.

Please, Governor Brewer, go to a doctor and get yourself checked out!  America can't afford to lose your tough-loving, plain-spoken common sense.

Methodists Going Muslim?!?

Beginning this fall, the Claremont School of Theology will train pastors, rabbis, and imams.  You read right -- the United Methodist seminary will also be certifying Jewish and Muslim clergy.

I've got nothing against Jews, but the thought of "scripture" passages that instruct followers to commit genocide drowning out the Golden Rule sickens me!  Just because Claremont is the only Methodist seminary west of the Mississippi doesn't mean it should give in to cancerous California kookiness!

Louisville Schoolchildren Victims of Hate Crime!

The ride home from the first day of school turned into a nightmare fore thousands of grade school-aged children in the Jefferson County (Kentucky) Public School system.  Thanks to some well-placed sabotage in the implementation of a new (U.S. Supreme Court-ordered) desegregation program, most of the children under the age of 12 did not get home until 9:00 pm!

You see, in 2007, the U.S. Supreme Court decided that the old, quota-based system was Unconstitutional and ordered JCPS to devise a new system.  The new plan the school system came up with was so complicated that not even a computer could handle it.  But, the superintendent said, the new system would work smoothly as long as all the principals cooperated and did their share.

Guess what happened?  Two grade school principals, angry because their demands for making all schools have a 50% black population (not 50% minority -- 50% black), provided just enough wrong information (or, in some cases, no information) to bus drivers and parents to cause the entire system to collapse.  Some kindergarten students were dropped off at strip clubs in Louisville, others were left at busy highway intersections 20 miles away from home.  Still others were doomed to ride overcrowded buses in 90 degree heat with no air conditioning or water for up to 6 hours.

Once the school board figured out what had happened, they acted quickly: the guilty parties were suspended with pay for two days while school board staff members straightened out the mess.

So, basically, two foaming-at-the-mouth bigots got a two-day paid vacation for endangering thousands of innocent children.  I wonder what the kids have learned from this . . . .

Discovery Channel Gunman

Thank God that eco-moron James Lee was gunned down before he could do any real harm!

I wonder if there's a special pit in Hell for eco-terrorists where the flames are green. . . .