Sarah Palin -- Grizzly or Teddy?

We've all heard Sarah Palin describe herself as a grizzly bear protecting her cubs.  But then we hear another incident of Levi doing Bristol wrong.

Back in the day, the young woman's kin would have made sure Levi married her, or he would have been turned into so much gunshot gumbo!

The only real solution to the Iran/North Korea problem

The thugs in Iran and North Korea continue to hold a knife at the world's throat.  As the "Ambassador of Death" is launched and South Korean ships are attacked, the threat of these warped sickos nuking us slithers ever closer.  What can we do?

Diplomacy is useless.  Iran's leader is a foaming-at-the-mouth jihadist, and Kim Jong Il is a self-worshiping freak.  They'll only listen to the twisted tumors that have replaced their souls.  So what do we do?

I'm sorry to say the only way we can end this is to nuke the capital cities of Iran and North Korea.  This kind of surgical strike will rid us of the blindly fanatical cancers without completely destroying the rest of those countries.

The truth behind the bed bug terror

I had my suspicions at first, but several undercover sources confirm this to be true:

THE LATEST ATTEMPT AT POPULATION CONTROL IS IN THE BED BUG INFESTATION!!!

Those little bloodsuckers were created to carry a genetically engineered virus that alters the reproductive DNA of their victims.  If the victim isn't rendered totally sterile, he or she will conceive children so deformed that they will never be able to care for themselves.

Is our government in on this?  Well, since the EPA has banned all effective means to kill off the little buggers. . . .

PETA should be charged with attempted murder!

As the egg recall takes on epic proportions, I'm becoming more and more amazed that our righteous Conservative American watchdogs haven't decried it for what it actually is: yet another plot by the PETA potheads to force this country to go vegan! It wouldn't be the first time those soulless bastards have been willing to force innocent people to suffer to promote their warped agenda.  After all, they're against all medical research, and they want to destroy the clothing industry, thus causing the death rate due to exposure to skyrocket!

I say we round up those domestic terrorists before they make our streets run red with innocent blood!